I could never understand these gender biases that often form a big topic of discussion everywhere, whether you are in a family, in a school, in a college, in society and its not only in India that its so very much prevalent, its observed all over the world. The other day I was listening this TED talk by Peggy Orenstein where she talked about ‘What young women believe about their own sexual pleasure?’ In the talk she elaborated, how girls assume that they witness that pleasure by watching the satisfaction at the face of their partner and they assume that this is all about it and this is how they should act or react. Another important point of concern was that its always more pressure on the women or girls to be more presentable whether they are in their private space or out in public.
My question here is, why are females dependent to observe their pleasure, their satisfaction from the eyes of the males? Why are females always under pressure to perform, to present, to behave in certain ways? Does this mean that we get all these as a gift for being a female? Is it the gender we belong to, that has become a big burden for all of us?
Once, I was standing at a market place, a group of boys were standing there and were talking very loudly using the utmost vulgar and abusive language. I gave them a very bad look but I could observe that hundred other people those who were passing by did not even bother to observe and analyze that whether this kind of behavior in the public place is acceptable or not. Now, just imagine the same scenario happening with a group of girls. I am sure it will be a sight to watch for everyone! Here is where the difference lies but I want to clarify that I am not supporting rowdy behavior here. If it would have been girls, it would have been equally wrong. We are talking of the reaction here which has a big difference because according to our society or I would say human society, females are born with a ‘behavior code’ that they have to follow and are expected to follow through out their lives. Hence, gender bias.
Talking of personal life, social life, family life, girls and women have always been under pressure of performance as compared to our other gender that get away with many things and they are never pointed out for the same.
‘There is nothing more powerful than being a woman.’ A woman is a creator, a birth giver and the best manager in all respects that humanity can ever witness. She deserves utmost respect and dignity in society. We need not empower women because you cannot empower the most powerful. She is sensitive and emotional which are the attributes of being very strong. She can express and adapt very well to all the different kinds of roles in life as she has to play different roles through out her life.
I can quote many examples here but leaving this part for you all to observe and acknowledge, what women are worth of? You will witness women in negative roles but here, we need to understand which hold good for both men and women, that a person is never right or wrong, it’s the situation according to which he or she acts to the best of his or her calibre.
Let’s not pressurize each other for performance. Let’s believe in each other’s individuality and try to explore and know more about each other instead of just leading these mechanical purposeless lives. Any system works the best when there is a balance between all its components and this society is made up of us both males and females. Let’s share the responsibility and let’s work in sync to lead a life that is happy and purposeful.
I just want to send out this message loud, ‘I am proud to be a woman and I want every woman to be proud herself because we are worth it.’ Feminism is not a punishment, it’s your strength, recognize it and do not let others set rules for you.
BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU ARE!
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Navpreet Brar,
navpreet.kuku@gmail.com
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